Early on in our relationship, my wife and I bumped up against a painful dynamic. Looking back, I can see that it played a pivotal role in my career choice to practice psychotherapy with individuals and couples. Bev and I were caught in a vicious loop of fighting, despite the love we knew we had for each other. I would blame her for our difficulties and distance myself. But my avoidance only activated her and created more tension between us, escalating our fights. I found myself thinking but never saying that I had picked the wrong person. However, I was proven wrong. In fact, I now know that I picked the person I was meant to share my life with.
This realization came as a result of working with a psychotherapist who specializes in couple therapy. Bev and I learned how to co-regulate each other in the face of life's hurdles. I saw the part I played in our fights, and she saw hers. Together we gained effective strategies to shift the dynamics of our relationship. Now we are no longer caught in a loop together. We still fight, but we know how to have positive disputes that lead to insight and growth.
As a result of the transformation in my marriage, I went on to train with Dr. Stan Tatkin, developer of a Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy, or PACT. I learned more about how partners can form a secure-functioning relationship, and I decided to dedicate my clinical career to helping couples in this way. You can view my full credentials and affiliations below.
Please don't wait one more day. Call me. I look forward to hearing your story and working with you.
